I was over at the inlaws the other day and decided I'd play around with some of the lighting in the backyard. I tried to explain to my father in law that I liked the sunlight reflecting off the freshly watered plants. I don't think that my explanation stuck. He still looked at me with a quizzical stare... I can't help it. Carrying a camera with me everywhere is just what I do. He graciously obliged though. He even watered plants for me so that I could photograph specific water drops in specific places... a little obsessive - yes.
No macro lens but had fun with this shot anyway. The sun in the teardrop is so cool and the bokeh's not bad either.
[This is the blabbering part - so if you’re here for the photo thanks for visiting! I’m ok with the folks that peruse blogs to look at the pictures. Sometimes I do that too and I like support for the photos just as much as I like support for the words. :)]
Speaking of tear-drops...
I didn't get the job I recently applied for. I'm mentioning that on here so that I don't have to confront those who were pulling for me and let them know that I don't "have enough experience"... Made it through two rounds of interviews but at the end of the road, I’m a new graduate and that’s not enough. It’s going to be a tough job-market out there for me since I'm kind of an anti-therapist in a therapist's world. But perhaps that’s a blogpost for another day...
For now I’m left deciding - (and this sounds like a question in a recent post) - Do I REALLY believe that God orchestrates decisions on Earth or do I just use him for comfort so that I don’t have to feel bad when things don’t go my way? Before the decision was made I spent a lot of time praying that God would land me where I could do the most good. I didn’t want the job if it meant I was NOT going to be used for God’s glory to my fullest potential. And I prayed that with the sincerest of hearts.
But now the rubber meets the road. Perhaps God is holding up his end of the bargain. Everything in me wants to say “This was perfect!! This was just the job I needed to get where I wanted to go!” And I guess I would be right... Where I wanted to go... I guess sometimes I forget that God has plans for me.
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” -Jer.29:11
The important part of that message is not what God can do for me... like a genie in a bottle. I want what I want and I want it now...
The message comes two verses later.
“You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart” -Jer.29:13
The future God has planned for me is revealed when I seek him with all of my heart. Not just the portion of the heart that says “I’ll do what you want and I’ll sing your praises but only if you follow the very detailed plan that I’ve laid out for myself.”
Who/What is it that I’m seeking anyway? That verse is assuming that I was even looking for God in the first place? Perhaps I was. I do sincerely believe that the prayer I prayed to be the greatest good was honest and heartfelt. So. This leaves me with where I am now. How can I use my current situation in order to really be the greatest good? What is it that God is calling me to in the everyday that he wants me to respond to?
Since I love leaving blogs with a question I think I’ll end it here. This is a question I could ask myself everyday and the answer would always be different. I can only pray that I would be willing to respond when the answer is revealed to me.